


Bury Your Heart

by emblem_oracle



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Acceptance, Alcohol, Angst, Child Abuse, Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Incestual feelings, Leo has some issues, M/M, Not the most perfect of couples but they try, Shame, Taboo topics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-05-21
Packaged: 2018-06-02 21:00:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6582256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emblem_oracle/pseuds/emblem_oracle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Leo's greatest shame is revealed and Takumi learns to accept him regardless.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Discovery

**Author's Note:**

> We all know about Leo's crush on Camilla, right?
> 
> I haven't seen it mentioned in many fics so I am going to try and take a stab at it. Due to this, this story will reference incestual feelings that Leo had for her. Please bare this is mind before you read. There are also a couple of other warnings that I have put in the tags. 
> 
> I don't know how well this is going to go down. Not only is this my first venture into writing for these characters (throwing myself right into the deep end here!) the topic matter is pretty taboo. Still, I hope someone out there enjoys it.

It was four years after they had become a pair that Leo revealed his secret to him, unintentional though it was. Leo had been drinking a little too much, said a little too much, and now Takumi wasn’t sure if he was glad to know or if he wished Leo had kept it buried inside. It was a little mean of him, but the admittance had made him uncomfortable. He was just fortunate that Leo seemed to have forgotten his sleight.

It mustn’t have been an easy thing to deal with; having a crush on your elder sister.

X-X-X

When Takumi met Leo, he hated him. ‘Nohrian scum!’ was what he called him, as he called all Nohrians at the time. Until the war, all he had ever known about Nohr was that the Nohrian people themselves were evil and cruel and that the country was in a constant state of nightfall. Takumi had felt that last bit fitting. ‘Black skies to match black hearts.’

It was a little ironic, then, that he would wind up dating the Nohrian prince. Leo was undoubtedly the most stereotypically Nohrian of the royals; calculating, sly at times, unforgiving… yet, there was more to him than that. He could be kind, he could be cocky and his love of military strategy matched his own. Yet, he was always so full of shame and Takumi always wondered why.

This was never more evident than when they had become official.

_“We should keep this… arrangement… between the two of us for now. At least for the time being,” Leo had said, wearing nothing but a sheet. His blonde hair was knotted and his crown lay crooked. Takumi was a little jealous that even after their ‘activity’ he still looked attractive._

_“Why? Are you ashamed of me?” Takumi assumed, his feelings hurt. He sat up from his position on the bed and stared at Leo, eyes narrowed with suspicion._

_“Oh, no, nothing like that! It’s just…”_

_“Just what?”_

_“It’s just… a difficult situation.”_

They had argued over that for a good while.

Leo explained to him later that his mother had used him as a tool to gain standing and status in the courts. To her, anything resembling conspiracy or ill manner was like blasphemy. He explained one occasion where, after forgetting to refer to another noble woman as “My lady” in public when he was only five years old, she had beat him within an inch of his life. He showed Takumi the scars which still remained from the incident.

“I suppose she has conditioned me to hold similar views,” Leo admitted.

Takumi had good sense not to bring the matter up again.

Eventually though, they revealed to their families the nature of their relationship and they took it rather well, actually. It surprised Takumi, at least, how accepting his and Leo’s family were, especially given the society they grew up in. However, cautious for their safety, Xander suggested they keep their activities private until things mellowed out between the two countries.

It wasn’t a bad suggestion; after all, many people in Nohr and in Hoshido still held racism for their now allied kingdom. Furthermore, homosexuality, while not outright rejected, was still a taboo. Leo’s and Takumi’s relationship could cause an uproar if it were made public.

Still, Takumi saw the grimace Leo made as Xander suggested it to them. Xander didn’t seem happy about having to keep such a thing secret either. “Very well, brother,” Leo had said, as if he didn’t care.

But Takumi knew how it tortured him, feeling ashamed of such a large part of himself.

X-X-X

In the years that followed, Takumi and Leo were swept away on their duties as princes of Hoshido and Nohr. Visiting became difficult; sometimes they would go a whole year without seeing each other’s face. They wrote often, but letters could only tell and show so much.

That was why when Takumi arrived in Nohr, now in his prime at twenty-one years, he was shocked to see how Leo had deteriorated.

Leo was in a constant state of stress, having collapsed due to exhaustion on multiple occasions. Elise often tried to encourage him to relax but she only served to irritate him, more often than not. Hated by the people yet vital for the country’s survival, Leo struggled between loving his people yet having them hate him in return.

Although it wasn’t too surprising, Takumi was horrified when he arrived to the news. “Why didn’t you tell me!?” Takumi had yelled, hurt that he had been kept in the dark.

“Because I didn’t want you to know,” Leo had said, unable to meet the Hoshidian’s glare. His skin was too pale, his cheekbones were too prominent and Takumi was torn between being angry for not being told and being upset because of the prince’s state.

Takumi grabbed Leo’s shoulders, forcing his eyes to meet his own. “Why not!?”

“I just didn’t want you to,” Leo stated. His face was without expression, yet his eyes betrayed his discomfort. He was aware of how weak-sounding his reason was. He tried to step away but Takumi held him still.

“Leo, I know that’s not it. Talk to me here. Do you think I’ll embarrass you or something if you tell me?”

Leo shook his head, his mouth in a grim line. He whispered something which Takumi couldn’t really hear, but he caught the words ‘so weak’ and that alone allowed him to piece together what he had said.

_‘I didn’t want you to think of me as so weak’_

Takumi, not knowing what to do, was unable to say anything as Leo left the library; leaving him alone with millions upon millions of books.

He knew the feeling of self-loathing that came with seeming weak too well.

X-X-X

It was at the end of his visit that Takumi learned of Leo’s biggest shame and he could see immediately why Leo had kept it so secret. Although Leo had stressed his crush on his sister was over, he admitted there was a lingering attraction he held towards Camilla that continued to disgust him.

Perhaps the worst bit about the confession was that Leo had been extremely drunk at the time and had forgotten his admittance the next morning, making Takumi unsure if it was true or a lie Leo’s intoxicated mind had conjured up.

_“Do you find me detestable, Prince Takumi?” Leo slurred, pouring himself another glass of wine. He held the bottle in a strange manner, pouring it with his hand on the bottom of the bottle instead of the side. Much of the wine spilled over his desk, staining whatever report he had been working on. He didn’t seem to care much._

_“Takumi had decided to escort his companion to bed before anyone other than Niles and he could see the state the prince was in. They had been having a banquet that evening with the entire royal family to wish Takumi a safe journey back the next day, but Leo had continued to drink long after the festivities had ended. Takumi put it down to an innate want to escape his stress, even for a little while._

_After a lot of persuading, Niles had agreed to wait outside the door as Takumi tended to the blonde. Leo didn’t make it easy, falling against his desk and falling into the chair there. Picking up the bottle Takumi had put down; he grabbed a glass and set towards further distancing himself from the world._

_“Well, do you?” Leo mumbled as Takumi attempted to grab the bottle away. Leo, though, was insistent at keeping it at his side and clutched it tightly towards himself._

_“Never,” Takumi said, making another grab for the bottle. He could easily get the bottle away from Leo with his slowed reflexes but with the way Leo was gripping it, Takumi worried that he might end up breaking the bottle and injuring them both if he tried to snatch it too strongly._

_“Never?” Leo laughed bitterly, sipping the wine from the bottle. His eyes were glazed as he stared at the label once he had stopped. “You don’t know enough about me, then.”_

_“I know plenty about you,” Takumi said, getting annoyed with this game he was having with the blonde. Grabbing Leo’s hand, he pulled it away from the bottle’s neck before he freed it from the mage’s grasp. He quickly walked over to the door and handed the bottle wordlessly to Niles before retuning to Leo’s side._

_Leo laughed again, glaring at the table like it had offended him. “I doubt you know I helped in the murder of one of my half-brothers because my mother told me to.”_

_Takumi took a sharp breath, surprised._

_“No? Or that I later helped in the assassination of my own mother. Not directly, of course, she died when I was six, but I may have ‘not seen’ who it was that did it, in a rather convenient manner.”_

_“Leo, I think you should stop,” Takumi said. It was hard not to be unnerved by the sheer wrongness that came with these confessions. A son who covers up for his mother’s killers. A boy who murderers his own siblings. These were all things so foreign to Takumi and so wrong, Takumi both pitied Leo and was horrified at how he could commit such atrocities._

_Yet, Takumi knew what he was saying was deeply personal. It would be unfair to snoop into his history, even if he was now morbidly curious._

_Takumi pulled back Leo’s chair, trying to figure out how he was going to get him into his bed when Leo said, “Those weren’t even the worst things, though. No, the most detestable thing about me is how I had a crush on **Camilla** my own sister, for ten years." _

_And that left Takumi frozen._


	2. Acceptance

Takumi doesn’t bring the topic up before he leaves.

Or the next time he visits.

Or the time after that.

Takumi doesn’t know how he feels about it for a long time.

_‘It could have been a lie,’_ he often finds himself thinking, trying to mask the truth with a lie. _‘He was drunk; he was feeling terrible at the time. There is no way he…_ ’

Yet, in the back of his mind, he knew that the confessions Leo had made were not false. In many ways he could see how Leo had come to develop such feelings. His childhood was far from normal, even by royalty standards. The concubine wars, his detachment from his mother, the corruption of his father… frankly, it was a surprise Leo wasn’t interested in worse things. Such events would be enough to damage even the most mentally sound of people, never mind a child.

Yet, the denial remained and Takumi felt terrible for not being able to accept the truth. Leo had entrusted him with perhaps his most guarded secret and here he was, unsure if he could look at him the same way again.

Leo’s terror of shame, although no doubt placed there by his mother, blossomed because of his forbidden feelings. No doubt he attached to Camilla due to her mothering nature, too.

It made a lot of sense. If Leo wasn’t so good at hiding his affections, Takumi felt he would have eventually realised it on his own or at least had a lingering suspicion in the back of his mind that he would have no doubt brushed aside.

Takumi ultimately decides that he will need to talk about it with Leo. He reasons that it is only fair on Leo for him to have a chance to explain a little and to see if it truly was the truth.

He hoped that if it was the truth, that Leo would at least trust him to admit it. Then again, could he truly blame Leo if he lied?

So Takumi waits.

X-X-X

Ultimately, Leo comes to him.

Sakura’s eighteenth birthday was a time of national celebration in Hoshido. Nobles and peasants alike celebrated the event by means of a Festival spanning three days. Although the harvest season was some time away yet, numerous stalls cropped up in the major cities selling many different kinds of foods and trinkets.

Although such events weren’t really Takumi’s thing, Elise seemed to love it anyway. Sakura seemed more embarrassed by the whole thing than anything else. She had gotten better at being the centre of attention over the years but such fuss caused her to go very red when the Festival was just being arranged.

“Ohh, what’s over here?” Elise grinned, dragging Sakura along by the wrist. Just shy of eighteen herself Elise had long abandoned pigtails and black dresses for long blonde hair that fell loosely down her back and tunics of a pale blue colour. In looks, Elise had changed much over the years. Her personality needed more time, Takumi thought.

It made him strangely nostalgic to watch the Nohrian Princess drag his sister around the stalls, prying her out from her shyness.

Leo walked at his side, examining the stalls with a discerning eye. He didn’t look as if he trusted the stalls wares, like they may attack him were he to draw close. Leo had written in his letters that his health was improving, partially due to tensions between Nohr and Hoshido steadily being on the decrease. Still, Takumi saw the bags beneath his eyes, the constant tensing of his arms.

It hadn’t seemed right to broach the topic of Leo’s confession to him immediately for that reason.

Yet, here he was, near the end of Leo’s trip and still he hadn’t brought it up. The last day of the Festival in Sakura’s honour also marked the last day that Leo would be within Hoshidan borders.

Part of Takumi doubted he would ever say anything at this rate, and their relationship would continue on with him silently being unable to accept Leo for who he was. Being unable to accept every part of him and to love every part of him.

“Are you alright, milord?” Hinata inquired from his side, snapping Takumi out of his thoughts. He looked oddly serious. Takumi nodded in ascent, but that didn’t seem to appease his retainer. He flicked his glance over to Leo, then back at him, questioning him with his eyes. ' _Have you two argued? '_

Takumi didn’t offer any response.

Hinata looked like he was about to question him further when Leo glanced over, passing his gaze over the pair; Takumi wasn’t sure if he had noticed the exchange but he seemed to sense something was going on. Hinata desisted in his efforts.

“Takumi, may I have a word with you in private for a minute?” Leo inquired, his face betraying no emotion. Surprised, Takumi nodded, and followed after him as he strayed from the group.

Together they passed the stalls and gradually moved away from the festivities. Leo said little during the trip and Takumi didn’t push for conversation. When they are far enough away from any prying years, just past the very end of the stalls, Leo stops and turns to face him.

“There is something I’d like to ask you about,” Leo begins, looking him dead in the eye. With the bags beneath his eyes, the look made him look mildly irritated.

“Oh? What?”

Leo crossed his arms behind his back as he often did. “You have been acting very strange in my presence these last few visits… I want to know if I have done something to offend.”

Takumi breathed in sharply. This wasn’t how he wanted the topic to be brought up, certainly not in public where snippets of conversation may still be heard. He was concerned that Leo may have noticed that he was keeping a slight distance as he sifted through his feelings. When Leo hadn’t brought any concerns up in his last few visits, he suspected his actions had gone unnoticed.

Then again, when did anything escape Leo’s notice?

Leo studied his reaction for a moment before his expression hardened. “I take it there is something, then?”

Takumi stared at the floor, closing his eyes. “What has brought this question on?”

“I have noticed you have been distant lately. Not just in person, but the way you talk in letters is stiffer. More formal. I thought it may have been the result of an increase in maturity but you also seem a lot tenser in my presence than with anyone else. As for why I’m only bringing this up now… I don’t know. I’ve had enough of idle speculation.”

Takumi sighed and ran his hand through his ponytail as he often did when thinking. “It’s… not so much that you have offended me. It’s just…”

“Just, what?”

“Just that… look, there is really no easy way to say this and you may not like it.”

“Are you breaking up with me?” Leo accused with a carefully veiled expression.

“Gods, no,” Takumi replied. The speed of his response surprised him a little, given his many months of doubt.

“Then what is it? Don’t beat around the bush, just say it,” Leo’s eyes narrowed.

Takumi sighed. _‘Here goes nothing…’_ “Remember about a year ago when you got really drunk? At the farewell banquet your family threw for me?”

Leo scrunched up his nose. “Ah, yes, I rather regretted that the next morning. I remember bits and pieces of what I did. Why?”

Takumi rubbed the back of his neck, “Well, when I took you back to your room, you… admitted some things. Like how you helped in the assassination of your mother and one of your half-brothers.”

Leo straightened up as he spoke. Takumi could practically see the concern for what he knew written across his face. He didn’t interrupt though so Takumi steeled himself.

“Among those, you also admitted that you… um… liked Camilla for many years. I would like to know how true your confessions were,” Takumi spoke slowly like it might ease the blow but he knew from Leo’s expression that it had done little to ease his shock.

Leo didn’t say anything for a good while, his face paling quickly with unmasked horror. He looked as if he wanted the world to just swallow him whole. It was at his expression that every denial Takumi had formulated to justify Leo’s confessions were brushed aside, leaving the cold truth.

However, it was also at Leo’s horrified expression that Takumi found the answer to how he felt about Leo after the admittance. It was like all the discomfort was swept away, leaving Leo shining bright as he once had in his eyes. Whatever uncertainty he had felt about the Camilla situation paled compared to how Leo felt about it. He still didn’t like it, but he would accept it because that past side of him was what had helped make Leo, the Leo he adored so.

Walking forward slowly, Takumi carefully wrapped his arms around Leo. The mage was as stiff as a board in his arms and he could feel him shaking, He still hadn’t spoken. “I kept my distance because I… didn’t know how I felt about it all. But I know this much be much harder on you. Regardless, I accept you for who you are, okay? Something like this won’t stop me loving you.”

Leo breathed a shuddering breath, like he might be holding back a sob. Takumi held him closer. He knew that Leo never let himself cry, especially in front of people. Especially in front of him.

“D… Don’t you find me detestable, Lord Takumi?”

“Never.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who left Kudos on this fic and I hope you all enjoyed the ride :)


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